ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
