I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
