Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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