he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
