Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
