worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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