I showed him my bush... on skype.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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