Pappa wants mamma naked
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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