dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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