Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
