Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize