respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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