Define "chronic" masturbator.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Randomize
