I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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