I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
