i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
handjob tips. give me some.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
