Nicole vs. Life
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
