Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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