We're like a lot better than the average bears
grandma shit on top of the toilet
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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