yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
