So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
