Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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