you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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