When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
