So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
