just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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