miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
