My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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