Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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