Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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