Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
