i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
