You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
being pregnant is like rehab
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
