no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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