No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
