If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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