What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
