i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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