my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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