Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
