At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm too high and old for this...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
