20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
