I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
