Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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