Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
