Small penises have feelings too.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
