I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
