when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
