Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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