Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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