Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
