I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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