You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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